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"It's like I always say, if you get caught you're a rapist, but if you get away with it you're a f***ing legend." The Beastmaster. Bully, homophobe, rapist, liar. Why waste such talents? A career in the police force beckons. PCSO Nolan, AKA The Beastmaster loves his job, what better cover for a career criminal than working for West Yorkshire's finest? But when a young boy drowns at a local beauty spot the press waste no time in accusing him and his colleague, PCSO Hisky, for standing idly by and watching him die.While Hisky slides further into depression and self loathing following the death, Nolan returns to doing what he does best; thieving, date raping, blackmailing and stitching up his colleagues.Then a chance meeting at a local dogging hotspot promises to make Nolan a very rich man indeed. After all it's not every day you find the England football captain in the arms, and anus, another man. . . .

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