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IntroductionMeet the Mortés, an upwardly mobile but spiraling downward zombie family of four. Stumble along with them as they seek utopia in this humorous and bizarre saga through time and space across the Sea of Innuendo, where none before them have ever ventured. The Age of Discovery spurred them onward and across the earth, which was rumored to be circular with sharp and prominent edges. They refused to listen and they prepared for their journey with vigor, leaving all unearthly goods behind as they bravely embarked on a new voyage to a new land onboard the good ship, Poor Excuse. They seek utopia even though they are not sure what that means or even where it is located. They bravely cross uncharted and treacherous waters and survive encounters with pirates and sharks, both of which serve to offer learning experiences in terms of some slight variations in dietary preferences.Their trials and tribulations are many, but they also encounter many obstacles in the new land as well. Follow them through the alphabet of their assimilation dilemmas beginning with aspirin and ending with zoos. Identify with their pain, pitfalls and possibly their attitudes. Either way, have a good time at their expense.Will the Mortés find fulfillment? Who can say? Only the shadow knows for sure and he isn’t telling, for he has his own problems. Read on, if you dare, but if you are under the age of 21, please put on your blindfolds first in accordance with the law of non-averages. . . .

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